Skulking Is A Good Thing

“If you can count the number of friends you have on one hand, you’re doing good.”

“If you have five friends by the time you’re an adult, you have many.”

“You’ll find out who the real ones are when the time comes.”

My mother has always been a genius. The woman was born brilliant and regardless of whether or not she knows, or would admit it, it’s the truth. She would have been equally wonderful to a son, or sons, but from experience, she was perfect for a daughter. Singular.

When I was growing up, I had friends of all kinds. Some were closer to me than others, but I never roamed the hallways at school without knowing someone. I had a “friend”, or at least someone to sit with, in every class. My friends had varying interests and went on to become whatever they were destined to be, and many of them surpassed their own expectations. I am proud of them.

My mom warned me that as an adult that would change. If I had five friends I was doing great.

As an adult, the number of close friends I have can fit in the palm of my hand.

I hate (not really) Taylor Swift for her trademark “squad” because I had one long before she made it popular. If only I were a famous singer too… I’d have cornered the market on that phrase long ago.

But since “squad” makes me think of cheerleaders, acrobats, police, and other assorted craziness, I’ll go with “skulk” which sounds horrendous; however, a skulk is a group of foxes, and they are truly foxy. They are beautiful because they are confident, independent, brilliant, and they love without condition. We are a skulk. Taylor may have her squad. My word is more punk rock anyway.

I started thinking about this today as I was in my home office, working on projects and doing all things “teacher” that I do at home.

I have a bookshelf to the right of my desk that is decorated with things from those in my skulk. I have a Winnie the Pooh plaque that reads “Friendship is knowing you can lean on each other.” And isn’t that what is about?

I’ve had my share of part-time friends. The ones that let me down. The ones that move one step to the right when I lean backward. And although I have forgiven them for their letdowns, I  haven’t forgotten it. But I thank them for their roles in teaching me what it really is to be a friend.

Next to Pooh, I have all the cards that my skulk has sent me this year for various things.

I have quite a few “you got this” and “thinking of you” cards. We send them because we can and because the cost of postage is minimal compared to the emotional value of receiving true words of love and gratitude on card stock.

I have every one that each of them has ever sent me.



And sometimes, I pull one out of the stack and read it again. Just because I can. And because the words of good friends are always worth reading more than once.

It doesn’t matter what kind of day I’m having, their words are always there.

My motto for life is “I got this” and I truly know who “gots” me when I don’t myself.

They aren’t aware of how many times a day I thank the cosmos, fate, coincidence, or just sheer luck that I have these women.

Every woman needs another woman that just gets her. That understands without any judgment and says, “I got you.”

You’re lucky if you have one. You have a national treasure if you have two.

If you have more, you need to start thinking of what you did right in life and keep it on repeat.

I fall into that latter classification.

Somewhere along the line, I did something right.

I received a new card in the mail today from a member of my skulk. All my friend wrote inside was “thinking of you” and “love”.  That’s all I will ever need.

Thank you to those that cheer me on and mean it.

Coincidentally,  the card I received today?

It was designed by Taylor Swift.




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